Thank you Hogan, thank you friends, thank you God....

April 2nd (Hogan's Birthday!)

Our "Angel" the warrior

One amazing little baby, one amazing woman.

Hanging out with "Dog" under the lights

"Grandma Hogan" getting to hold Hogan

Nana Skelton and Papa Skelton holding Hogan

Bright eyes.... Hogan and "Dog"

Proud Parents!

Hogan, My Hero

Big Brother Noah loves Hogan

Thank you

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Dear Hogan,

Good evening little guy. I sure do wish I was back in the NICU having our guys night out right now with you. Thank you for giving us a complete day to hold you before you had to leave. It was not easy to walk back into St. Mary's and clean your room out today. I loved being there with you over the past 16 days.

We all know that our time to leave this world will come but yesterday we saw a few hours before you left that you wanted to say goodbye to us. I am thankful that your mother and I were able to kiss your beautiful lips yesterday! You have amazed many people for over two weeks and you continued to amaze them with your fight to live and impact lives until early this morning. I like that fact that you had a sense of humor all the way up until midnight. You played with your numbers on the monitors all day. Nurse Lisa came in to say good bye many times when you just wanted to say hello to her. Hogan, you know she didn't want you to leave either but we all noticed that you were ready.

We are so proud of you Hogan. I can't thank God enough for giving us these wonderful days to spend with you. Yes, I naturally wanted more time and I have never felt pain like I feel typing these words but I am focusing on our "point"! (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) I am so thankful that I got to be your dad here in this world. I was honored to hand you over to your Heavenly Father last night but it hurt so bad. I know you are in the best hands now! I thought I did the best I could for you on this earth but now you are with a perfect Father!! You have no more cords coming out of you or attached to you! You have probably met many of our friends that have gone ahead of you. I have met many other families that have lost children during our journey together and I am sure they are all happy to have you there. You are a special angel. You are a special baby that was sent here to make a difference in this world. You accomplished so much in your short time here.

Hogan, you were a great role model for young children! I know you heard me talking about all of the children that were praying for you and that were asking about you every day! I know you want those children to know that you are all better now. You want all of those children that sent you all of those sweet notes to know that you are now perfect! You are probably up in Heaven creating havoc like you did down here. I know that the doctors offices or the staff at St. Mary's won't forget your beautiful eyes or your sense of humor. You loved with your spirit, your eyes and your will to live. You made the most of every day. You didn't take one breath for granted. You gave us the chance to hold you in our arms until you were ready to leave. I am so thankful we got to hold you in our arms and tell you how much we loved you all day. You let me hold you until you took your last breath and let you mom hold you until your last heart beat. Thank you Hogan. Thank you God. We love you so much.

I am still amazed at how many people have been touched by your life Hogan. I have been on facebook for 3 years asking people to be my friend and a few hundred were nice enough to accept my invite. I put a couple of random messages on this blog to "friend" me to follow your journey more often and I had more than 1500 new friends in a matter of days. Hogan, you are a hero. God used you for good. I am sure He is continuing to use you!

I am so thankful that your mom is so strong. Did you notice how she held you close and cried out to you while you were saying goodbye? She was asking if you were seeing angels. She loved you like only a mother can love a child. She took over most of the "nurse" duties in the NICU for you over the last few days. She is an incredible mother and an amazing wife. I am so blessed.

Hogan, you have no idea how much Lily and Noah wanted you to come home to see them. I think they were a little upset when some people came to take away your isolette and accessories from our house. Noah said "that's Hogan's bed" when they were rolling it away. You will have to tell Jesus to help me explain your mission to him!! Lily loves you too! I think she was making sure there was nothing to eat around your isolette! She likes to eat like I do... she is a cutie!

I was so happy that your Grandparents and your Great Grandmother Granny Blanche got to see you and get kisses before you went to be with Jesus. I am so thankful that my mother, your "grandma Hogan" got to enjoy your life too. I believe that God used your "grandma Hogan" over my life to prepare me for a major storm like this one. Although God didn't always calm the storms that she encountered in her life, He always calmed her and gave her peace and strength. I also know that it was Angie's grandparents and mother and father that God used to give her the foundation to stand firm in the middle of this storm. We are so thankful for our families.

Your friends have become family to us! I read your messages on your blog and my facebook page and I see so many people mention how although they have never met you they feel like they know you. I think the feeling is mutual. Although we haven't met your friends "face to face" in person. I feel like I know them. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. I believe that is where the connection has surfaced. We have all prayed together. We have all laughed together and celebrated the good times and we have all cried together and felt pain together in the bad times. We all know that just because we are believers that it doesn't mean we don't hurt or go through tough times. Sometimes God uses these tough times to make us better and we can learn so much from them. I feel like God has taught me so much by being with you over the past two weeks. He has used your life to connect Christians in Denmark, England, Canada, Germany, Australia, Africa and in most every state here in the United States. I am overwhelmed by how big God really is. I am also thankful that we will soon celebrate and honor your life with your friends. We are going to celebrate your life with a funeral service on Wednesday at 11AM at Prince Avenue Baptist Church with a short graveside at Oconee Hill behind Sanford Stadium in Athens. Your mother and I have asked Lord and Stephens to have a visitation on Tuesday night in Oconee County for any of your friends to come say hello to us. You mother and I already had decided before your birth no matter if you lived 1 second, 1 week, 1 year or whatever that we would do this for you. Like I told you in a few blogs over the months. You are no better or no worse than any other person on this earth. I do believe your time management skills were a little above the norm though :-).

Hogan, it has been a long journey. Your journey took a turn on April 2nd when you entered this world and it took a turn early this morning when you left it. It is amazing the feeling of the secret chamber in your heart that opens when you have a child. You can't explain it. It's just a feeling that you didn't know you could love someone that much or like "that". Then when child number 2 comes along... another chamber opens that you didn't know exists. You never thought you could love your second child like your first. When number 3 comes along that next hidden chamber opens... it feels so amazing. These hidden chambers are hard to explain because they are so big but yet so tender. There is so much love there but yet it doesn't take much to hurt those hidden chambers. I now know what it feels like when one of those chambers suddenly vanishes. There is a hole there that is worse than any other feeling in this world. I tried to get ready for it and plan for it mentally but I couldn't. As good as that chamber suddenly opens when a new child enters this world it is more painful on the opposite end when the child leaves. I know that God will get us through this time. I am not doubting God and I know that God wouldn't allow more than I can handle. I am going to focus on our "point", Hogan!!

Your mom and I read in books about Trisomy 18 and asked many physicians about this condition over the past few months. There was very little hope for a "wimpy white male baby" (all white male babies get tagged this).. to make it to birth with this condition. I think every person knows now that you are not the "normal" wimpy white male baby!! You were God's baby Warrior! You were on a mission to get here and when you got here you were on a mission. God used you so much in your days on this earth. It was an honor to be beside you on your journey here on this earth. You are now in Heaven and I believe that you are still on a mission. I believe that your story will live on. I pray that God will continue to use your love and your passion to live. You made an impact in this world Hogan!! You put a different face on Heaven for me. It was a place that I wanted to be before you were born. Now, its a place that I have got to be. I can't wait to see you again.

I miss my little warrior with the huge heart.

I love you.