Kip, Angie, Noah and Lily

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Heart of a Warrior

"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake in the morning you are still with me." Psalms 139:17,18

Dear Hogan,

You continue to amaze me. I am so thankful that you are here. We are celebrating our 13th guys night out in the NICU together and they just keep getting better! Hogan, you are a warrior. You are my hero. I am so thankful that you have fought so hard and won so many battles. I continue to thank God for being able to be with you on your journey. I am thankful that I am able to watch God use you to grow families closer like you have done to ours. I am so thankful. I praise God that you are being used and that people have told me that their lives have been changed forever because of you Hogan. I know it is hard for you to think about or understand things like this because you are just hoping to make it to the next minute, hour or day.

I wanted to let you know I had a person who I don't know ask me today how many more days the doctors were giving you to live. I thought to myself, don't we all wish we knew the answer to that question?! It is the same question I asked Dr. V after you were born. He told us that you would live 5 to 7 days at best and that his life would probably end sooner. He gave this judgement on his observation of your work of breathing and his weight and his lung and heart size. We can change the number of days that you are alive on our board every day but we can't put the end date on the board yet. We don't know when the last number will go up on your board. We don't know the last number on anyones board though Hogan. Nobody knows when their last breath will be taken. We do know that everyone will take a last breath though. It is important to understand that what is important is how you honor God with the days you are given in this life.

Hogan, please keep fighting to live. We were told we probably wouldn't have a live birth. We were told that most people terminate T18 babies. We were told that T18 babies weren't compatible with life. I am so thankful that we are able to spend this precious time together. We couldn't dream of missing out on the miracle of you. We are so proud of you!

I can't believe that your day was so crazy. Did you know that we set another record here at St. Mary's today? I guess it wasn't me.... it was you and your mom! Your mom got up to the NICU to see you an hour after having gave birth to you by c-section. We were told that the fastest that any mother made it up here after a c-section birth was at best 3 hours but probably more like 4! Your mom holds a record here Hogan! Aren't you proud of her? She wanted to see you so much! Today was your day to set some more records. I had left to run home to get your big brother and take him to preschool for his class pictures this morning while your mom hung out with you. Well, I hadn't even gotten Noah to preschool when your mom called me to let me know you were having heart issues and asked me when I could get back to the hospital. Nurse Lisa thought that I might want to come back here just in case. We were told that you were having "PVC's". These "PVC's" aren't a big deal to a normal person or a normal baby if they happen periodically. The problem was that you were having them constant and after every heart contraction. Your heart is already compromised so the extra stress isn't good.

Dr. Morales and Dr. "V" wanted to get blood work and also monitor you for a little while to determine what step to take next. I was able to get your brother to his school to take pictures and get back to the hospital just in time to see Dr. Morales and get the report with you mother. He told us that they had decided to cut back down the volume of food you were getting to see if that would help you. Your heart would start having these "PVC's" periodically on and off all morning and early afternoon. Your work of breathing wasn't good either. The good thing is that late this afternoon you started to get better. Your heart stopped having the irregularities and you actually started breathing a little better then you were earlier. Your mother and I are so thankful that you have improved. We understand that this problem could come back tonight and that your breathing could get worse at any minute but right now you are stable.

I also wanted to let you know that Noah and Lily are so proud of you. Noah asked your grandmother to tell you that he loved you the other night. That was really neat to hear but when your grandmother told me that the first thing that Noah asked her when she returned home was if she had told you that he loved you. You make our family better Hogan. You make me a better person.

Your mother and I are praying that you have a good night tonight. I also don't want you to think that we are the only people praying for you Hogan. You have an army of prayer warriors. The army keeps growing every day. God is using your fight to live and your life story to change lives Hogan. I know I have told you how much you have changed our family but you are changing other families. I get messages all day long from people that have been impacted by your 3 pound body. It warms my heart to read messages of children that are praying for you and asking about your health. They love you Hogan. You are a hero to many. You are a warrior for God's kingdom. I know you have got to be tired. I know you have got to be exhausted. I can't thank you enough for continuing your journey. You have been on a mission since you started this journey and I pray that your journey continues. You are special Hogan.

I love you.


  1. I am so happy you both are having another "guys night out"

    Hogan, you are in my prayers always you little warrior.

    Everyone is so proud of you! Trust in God, Hogan.


  2. To the greatess parents and little warrior I'v ever seen or heard of I'm so proud of you. Hogan continue that fight because God is not finished with you get. He has used you in so many ways.Ways that stretch far and wide. You're a handsome little guy too I can't wait to read about you, see pictures of you with your Mom and
    Dad I check on you everyday sometimes twice. Your're the talk of the town. I've known your Mom and Dad for years and Noah and Lily. All of you are very dear to my heart and youre right there with them and I love all of you so much.I stay in touch through Dads blogspot and grandmother. Have tried to sen a comment several times and this is my second time tonight hope is goes through. Alway know that I love all of you very much and will continue to lift you in my prays
    Love your, Lynette

  3. Hogan is alive, and that's what matters. It's not important if he's here for another day or another month or even another year, what matters is that he's here right now and he's surrounded by people who love him and are praying for him. At this moment, Hogan is the luckiest little guy in the world. Sure, he's been dealt a bad hand, but he's not letting that stop him from getting to know his family and making a difference in the life of so very many people. How many adults do you know who have touched as many lives as this little boy?

    Don't worry about time left, enjoy time present and let God deal with the details. As ever in my prayers, Cait

  4. Thinking of you all & continueing to pray. God bless...Ron & Sarah

  5. Most people hope that they will impact someone during their lives, that they will make a difference to someone. Wow Hogan! You make everyone who knows your story think about what they are doing to show God's power. I feel so blessed to follow your journey and be changed because of you. Thanks Hogan! -Megan

  6. Praying for Hogan this morning! (and also for you guys) I pray that he had a great night and that today is an awesome day. Wow tomorrow will be 2 weeks!!! Way to go Hogan! You are in fact a strong warrior!

  7. My Maggie (8 years old) ask me about Little Hogan when she get's home from school, when she wakes up in the morning, when she goes to bed at night. She continues to pray for Hogan's mama and daddy and for him. God is so Good and is using your family in a Mighty way to teach us courage and faithfullness! Way to Go Hogan for being so strong through it all!

  8. Good Morning Hogan,

    We hope your day goes better today. You truly are amazing. I know your mom and dad sure do love you. We are praying for you everyday. You are helping more people than you know. Madi sends a hug your way today and asked if she could draw you a picture. She really has grown to like you a lot.. You are so cute why wouldnt she? Have a good day little hero! love the McCabe's

  9. can't blame Hogan for not wanting to go anywhere-2 great parents, a big brother and sister, and SO SO many people that are praying for him and loving him-may God continue to bless Hogan and your family-every minute is a gift...

  10. I didn't know about Hogan until a couple of days ago.I remember his mom from high school and I teach in the school that his cousins attend. What a blessing it was to read about your journey! May God continue to bless your family and surround Hogan with his angels!Hogan is a testimony to the miracles and wonders of God!Kellie

  11. Hogan we the Bowman's are so pround of you . I was reading this post to my husband, daughter, and son and our 5 year old son said that he was going to tell every one that Hogan was his hero and that he would pray for you everynight and everyday. Our entire famiy is praying for you. By the way how I know you is one of your nurses Candance Brown. Glad I know Candice because now I know you. Love you Hogan

  12. Hogan,
    My little girl is only four months old, but she sees your picture every day and prays for you every night! You are such a hero to her. I hope that she will be a fighter like you!

  13. We are praying for you and I would like to send your name Hogan to a group of prayer warriors in Missouri. I am not sure if it has been sent before but I will send it again. They are called IHOP (not the really neat place to eat your parents can tell you about that when you're older) International House of Prayer. They do prayer and worship 24/7. In baby terms that's alot. Just know you are being prayed for all over the country.
    Tina Henderson.

  14. Go Hogan Go I will pray for you daily.

  15. hey Mr. Kip its Ragan Wyatt i just wanted you to know that im praying for you as you go through this hard time i love yall and i will keep yall in my prayers everday I love Yall
    Love ALways,Ragan Wyatt