Memorial Day 2010

Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Romans 5:1

"I do believe, but help me not to doubt!" Mark 9:24

How do we know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog.....it's here a little while, then it's gone. James 4:14

Dear Friends,

It feels like I have been in a race over the past few months. As you can tell by my pictures I don't run in too many races.. (obviously)! The races I have attempted always seemed like I started off trying to win the race but ended up just trying to survive to the finish! I think that is what the past few months of my life have been like. I have been just trying to survive Hogan's journey. The last turn Hogan took was on April 18th. I think the past few weeks have been my "recovery period". You know that time after the race when you look for water or maybe a banana and try to catch your breath knowing you have done something that was very difficult but that you finished. There is a mixture of pain and happiness in that moment. That is what I have been trying to do. I have been trying to catch my breath from an amazing ride that Hogan took us. God has used these past few weeks to let me catch my breath and to try and get refocused on life here on earth. I will admit, I have been distracted a little over the past few weeks as I have struggled to catch my "breath". Life is like a road race.

My last blog was a turning point for me again. I have been trying to figure out if God wanted me to keep blogging or not and if I was going to keep blogging, just how I was going to do it! I loved writing letters to Hogan and I wrote a couple after Hogan left to be with Jesus but it just doesn't feel the same. I have decided to keep the blog going and to keep updating what is going on with our families life now that Hogan has departed to a better place. It doesn't change the fact that it hurts like nothing else when I think about not being able to hold him or kiss him again but I try and step back and look at the "bigger" picture and focus on what God did and is doing through that little Warriors life! My prayer is that Hogan's legacy will continue to bring people closer to Jesus and to change lives for the better. I know he has impacted my life like nothing else and he is a reminder of just how precious we should take each day!

My job involves a good amount of travel and this morning I drove to Atlanta to go on a trip with a good friend and client of mine. The drive to Atlanta is not one of my favorite trips to make but it is a time when I can clear my mind. I started thinking about how fast life moves and how fast things change. Although it has only been a few weeks since Hogan passed, it feels like it has been a year to me. I was nicknamed the "paparazzi" at St. Mary's Hospital because I took so many pictures while Hogan was in the NICU. It was true.... because any time that Hogan got to be taken out of his isolette, I was there waiting to take pictures like photographers wait to take pictures of celebrities in Hollywood! I know the nickname was probably appropriate! I am so thankful that I got to take those pictures. I look back through them often and live those moments again in my mind. I know I can't go back to that time physically but I can almost get there mentally through these pictures. I have easily over a thousand pictures of Hogan and I still wish I would have taken just a few more!

I mention taking pictures because photography has always been a passion of mine. I helped out at a local TV station in middle Georgia about 15 years ago and loved it. Shooting camera shots and video is one of my favorite things to do. Hogan's life has inspired me to get back into this art. I have been able to get some great equipment and have learned many things from some talented photographers. I am also taking night classes at UGA this summer to try get better at this love of mine. I enjoy taking pictures of "things" but I love taking pictures of people and things together, especially sports or candid photography! I mention all of this because being in the hospital sitting beside and holding a little warrior like Hogan has made me want to be the best I can be in everything. I never really thought I had any talents but God has been able to open my eyes to a few possibilities that I want to pursue. The reason I love taking pictures is because it captures the moment. A friend of mine always says "make a memory". It doesn't matter what we are doing or where we are... he says "make a memory". I can't explain how much that "make a memory" comment comes to my mind every day. Life is about making memories and making an impact. That impact can be a good thing or a bad thing. I pray that I can make a positive impact and that God will use me like he has used Hogan. The moment a picture is taken, that moment will never be able to be brought back in real life. It is truly a memory. The people will never be that "old" again and that image will capture life at a moment in time that can be cherished.

I mentioned I like video too.... well, a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine in Atlanta called me about an opportunity to hear a story about an independent film that is being made here in Georgia. The meeting was going to be at his office to hear about it. I went because my friend wanted me to be there and because what he mentioned about the story was intriguing. I sat in a conference room overlooking downtown Atlanta and listened to the presentation. My heart was touched by the story. This movie sounds very interesting and I think it has a chance to change lives that will honor God. I will mention more about it as the production gets going later this year!

I started this post on Thursday while I sat in the Atlanta airport waiting to fly out of town and I am finishing it today, on Memorial Day. As I drove home yesterday I thought about how people are all different. As I drove down I-85 and looked around and it was hard to find 2 identical cars. I also easily noticed that not many people were driving the same speed or wanted to be driving the same rate of speed! Isn't it funny that if you are in a hurry and driving a little faster than normal everyone is driving too slow... but if you are taking it easy and someone comes zooming past you.... they were driving reckless. I believe that we are all living life at different speeds and in different ways through our own journey. Our relationship with Christ is personal. It is just like the car we choose to drive and the speed that makes up comfortable. We are all on our own journey! I am thankful for a great road map called the Bible. It's the perfect navigation system. The directions never change and never have to be updated. I pray that our journey will bring us closer to Jesus and that if someone doesn't have a road map or is lost that someone comes along and helps that person get back on the right path. I am so thankful for the friends that have helped me stay focused on our "Point".

I briefly mentioned how I travel often with my job. During this time when our economy is not strong. I am very thankful to be able to have a great job. I am also thankful that markets were calm during the Hogan's journey and especially while we were at the hospital with him. My partners and office staff were so great to me during my stay at the hospital. I never worried about anything while I was there because the common theme was "don't worry about anything, we are taking care of everything". They wanted me to enjoy every moment with Hogan. I am so thankful that I was blessed to have this opportunity. Hogan's life reminded me just how fortunate I am to have such a great office and great clients. It's easy to go through life and take things for granted sometimes. I am trying to never take anything for granted anymore. I had never tried to do this in the past but now it's even more of a passion.

I mentioned making memories.... well, yesterday on my way back to Atlanta I went through the normal routine at an airport. I checked my rental car back in to the company and then went through the ticketing process. I noticed as I walked up to the computer that a couple had walked up beside me with a beautiful little baby. I am not an outgoing person by nature so I didn't say anything to them but in my mind I was wondering if this baby could have been born the same day Hogan was born. I walked off to go through security and got a cup of coffee while I waited to board the plane. I never saw the couple in the airport after our brief encounter at check-in. It was about an hour later when the attendant called our flight destined for Atlanta to board. I couldn't wait to board the plane and get back home to see Angie, Noah and Lily. I walked through the aisle of the plane and looked for my seat. I was sitting seat 9B which is the one 2nd from the window and on the aisle of this particular small Delta jet. I looked over the right of me and noticed there was the couple that I had noticed at check-in sitting in seats 9C and 9D . They were already seated holding their little angel. Needless to say it was one of the longest plane flights of my life. It wasn't long in time but it was long because of my heavy heart. I glanced over at that little girl and imagined Hogan being in our arms. I imagined that Hogan would be the same size if he were still alive. I can't explain how bad I wanted to kiss and hold their little baby! It hurt me so bad and at the same time it warmed my heart to see this couple loving on their beautiful baby. I couldn't help it... when we had landed and were about to leave the plane, I asked the father how old their baby was... he said "3 months"... the baby was born on March 2nd. She was born exactly a month before Hogan. The couple was on their way back home in New Jersey after visiting family in Alabama. I told them that their baby was so cute and congratulated them. You could easily see the love for her in their eyes. They were "making a memory" in their life. I pray that we all "make memories" that honor God and that we enjoy life and live it with a passion that it might be our last day. Thanks for continuing to be on this journey with us.

In His Love,

Kip