Kip, Angie, Noah and Lily

Sunday, May 23, 2010

It's been over a month now...where do we go from here?

This is a picture of a drawing that someone did for us of Hogan in the hands of Jesus. A friend took a picture of Hogan off of this blog. We will treasure this forever!

Hogan holding my finger a few hours before he went to be with Jesus.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1:17

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path you take. Proverbs 3:5,6

Dear Friends,

I wanted to thank you all so much for loving us and for loving Hogan so much.

I can't express to you how much your messages on this blog, the cards in the mail and the messages that have been sent through my facebook page have meant to me. I am having a really hard time figuring out what God wants me to do now that Hogan has gone to be with Jesus. I have started about 20 posts since Hogan left this world and I have only posted 2 of them! I don't really know why I can't write my blog post like I was doing over the past few months. It is a strange feeling because I get almost through with a post and then my mind just goes straight to Hogan and the hurt just rips my heart out and I can't post or finish the post.

I know that might sound stupid to many of you but I wanted to update everyone to let you know that we are picking up the pieces and trying to live in this world "after Hogan".
Angie and I went to the mountains for the night last night. It was the first night away our kids since they have been born (other than when Hogan was in the hospital). We probably needed to get away for the night but the moment we walked in the door tonight, reality hit! Noah and Lily both came running down the hall to say hello and to welcome us back home with smiles and hugs. The first thing Noah asked us was "did you bring baby Hogan home?". He assumed that we had been at the hospital with Hogan. I can't tell you how much it broke my heart to hear him say those words but at the same time those words made me realize the impact Hogan made on Noah as well. Noah loved Hogan so much and doesn't understand why he isn't here with us. The truth is that I really don't understand why Hogan isn't here with us now either. We will probably never know. All we can do is trust God like we trusted him during Hogan's journey while he was alive on this earth.

Thank you all so much for loving us through this time in our lives. We are so thankful for all of you.

I am going to continue to blog because my heart still feels the way it did in January when I started blogging. I don't know if this is for me, my family, a friend, a stranger or someone that might go through a situation like this. If one person can be touched by Hogan's journey and it brings them to a closer relationship with Jesus then it's worth it!

In His Love,


  1. Kip and Angie,
    I know how you feel when you say that you don't know what to do "now". God will guide you. You may not realize it for a long time but He will lead you where you need to go if you let Him, just like he led us to you guys. We are still praying for you sweet family.

    Mandy and Brian Hopkins

  2. We will never know the answer to many questions in this life, but have to trust in his plan for us. We thank God for loving us in a way we will not understand until we ourselves are with him. Our comfort as Christians is that we do have our Hope of Heaven promised to us and so we do know that Hogan and so many more dear to us are just a breath away and when we leave here we will be present with them and our God. Praying daily that your hearts will heal and you will be able to continue in Joy your mission here on earth. Much Love, Kristi

  3. Dear Kip and Angie-

    I'm so thankful that you have had the strength to share your journey with so many. Since the first day I read about Hogan I feel I've grown to know you, and would be proud to call you friends. Hogan has made such a profound impact on my life and will never be far from my thoughts. When Noah asks about him, let him know that God needed him for something so very important that dear Hogan needed to go to Heaven right away. Any time Noah wants to talk to Hogan he's only a prayer away. I will keep you in my prayers and hope for God's peace to comfort all of you.


  4. Some things you never get "over", but with the grace of God, you can get "through" them. The loss of Hogan in this physical life is one of those things you will never get over. However, as one who has suffered too, there will be days when you seem to be doing OK and then days when you aren't. Our Father knows the pain of losing His Son and He will never leave or forsake you. You know that your lives are intertwined with thousands, perhaps millions, and Hogan's life was not in vain. To God be the glory. You, Angie, Noah, and Lily remain in our prayers! Hogan is with Jesus and my grandson doing whatever he wants to do....waiting until that day when the trumpet sounds.......

  5. Kip,
    I read this last night and was not sure how to respond but tonight I see it in a different light. This blog is your healing. It is a way to express your pain and loss for your sweet boy. Use it! Use us! We are all here to pray for you both and want to support you in any way that we can. Post whatever you feel and type. We will all be here to support you and as you look back on these posts you will be able to see the tiny steps of healing God is placing on your heart. We are all still praying for you and think of you often. Hug those babies and enjoy your time together you deserve it.
    Andrea in Dacula

  6. Kip, we are continuing to pray for you!! The painting that my Mom sent you is absolutely amazing! She brought it up to VA for me to see a few weeks ago before she sent it to you!! When she tried to describe what it looked like over the phone she would just weep. When she showed it to me that's exactly what I did!! I hope this will remind you that Hogan is with Jesus in his arms and that He will continue to hold you & Angie in his hands!! Love to you all!! Jen

  7. I know there is a reason for all of this and everything works together for good. I cannot even imagine what you are going through but I know God will use this trial you are going through. Many prayers are going up for your family.

  8. Still praying for you and your family. I am so sorry. I have missed reading your blogs. I hope you will start back because it means so much to everybody. You have such away with words.