it won't be long now...

Angie probably wouldn't have chosen this picture!

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

I have to start this blog out by thanking you for your prayers. I know that your prayers are having an impact on our family. I also know they are having an impact on Hogan's life.

We are finally starting to realize that our journey is about to take a different turn in the road. Angie and I have been waiting to meet this little blessing since last fall and now the time is getting near. I feel that as the time gets closer the stress starts to get more intense but it is a different stress than normal. We are anxious to meet Hogan. We don't really know how he will enter this world. The verse above really speaks to me right now. We continue to pray for the miracle healing of Hogan. We continue to be thankful that he has beaten so many odds already. We continue to be amazed at the prayers and support that Hogan has been given. We are so thankful. I can't express the strength that Angie and I are both feeling and we know it comes from God and it comes from the prayers that have been lifted up already by so many friends and family members.

The roller coaster of emotions continues. I was told this week that the marker for the cemetary should be ready to be put in place next week. I hope the marker is going to be put there and it will serve as a reminder of the miracle of life that God is going to give Hogan! It is also a reminder that this life is temporary for all of us though. Angie and I went ahead and put our birthday's on our stones with the "dash". The reason I wanted to go ahead and do this is because just in case a miracle doesn't happen I don't want Hogan to be in the cemetary and nobody to know that we were the parents. He has changed my life and he has changed our family forever.

Hogan continues to fight for life. Angie had a normal checkup with Dr. Lohman's office on Wednesday afternoon. The checkup turned into a little more than we thought because after monitoring Hogan's heart rate, Dr. Smith noticed that the rate was not good enough for her to let it go without more evaluation. She sent Angie to St. Mary's to get this monitored for a longer period to make sure Hogan's condition hadn't deteriorated. When I was able to arrive at the hospital Dr. Lohman was in the room with Angie and she was happy to see the heart rate had improved but she told us that she couldn't let us go home because Angie had started having contractions! So, we waited for these contractions to slow or stop. It was after the third round of medication that the contrations calmed down and we were able to go back home for the night. There are many reasons that we don't want Angie to go into labor yet. Hogan is a very small baby because of Trisomy 18 and the longer he can stay inside of Angie in a good environment and grow the better. The other reason is that Hogan has decided that he doesn't want to come into this world conventionally and hasn't turned correctly yet. I think he might know something! We have been told that the C section would be less stressful on Hogan and this would allow him to have a better chance to live. Also, as I mentioned in an earlier blog, we were scheduled to go back to Dr. Rosemond on the 22nd to get the next ultrasound to check Hogan's blood flow. If the blood flow is worse than it was on the 7th then Dr. Rosemond mentioned he might schedule the delivery the following morning the 23rd. This appointment is going to be moved up to this week. We are not sure what day but Angie's doctors want Dr. Rosemond to check on Hogan because of the heart rate problem he had on Wednesday afternoon.

Thursday night Hogan decided that he wanted to go back to St. Mary's again. We noticed that the contractions were getting closer together at dinner that night and decided to write down how often they were occurring. Angie had 6 contractions within 60 minutes so she called the Dr. like we had been told. Dr. Lohman didn't want to take any chances and sent us to get checked monitored again. I had a peaceful feeling that things would be ok again but just in case I packed my Bible, camera, phone charger and other things in a bag on this trip. We got to the hospital around 8:30 and after being monitored for a while and more medication we got to leave after midnight to come home. Angie is still pretty exhausted but we are happy that Hogan is still alive and ok inside of her today.

The good thing about being back at St. Mary's this week was that Angie and I were able to sit for hours and listen to our little man's heart beat. It brought back so many memories of Noah and Lily's birth and it really reminded us how big of a God we serve. We got to talk about things that we probably wouldn't have talked about if we were at home. We got to hear Hogan kick and kick and kick!! He might be a soccer player one day! It also brought a smile to my face to hear and see the babies that were born on Wednesday and Thursday night this week. It makes me so happy to see babies now more than ever.

I also noticed the "coach" shirts one of the dad's that had just watched his baby enter the world. I have 2 "coach" jersey's in my closet at home and look forward to getting my third jersey soon. I know you can tell it's march madness when I hear Hogan's heart beating and it reminds me of a basketball bouncing and then I see "coach" shirts at the hospital and it makes me think of coaching sports. I feel it is appropriate for the hospital to give out these shirts to the new dad's because we are life coaches for our children.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 NLT