And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT
Hogan will be with us within the next two weeks.
It is hard to think about much but Hogan's upcoming arrival right now. We had initially planned for his arrival tomorrow because Dr. Rosemond had initially planned a meeting today and then if Hogan wasn't doing as good as he was two weeks ago then he would have set up the delivery tomorrow morning. This was the plan until the events of the past two weeks that I mentioned in my "It won't be long now" blog. We had the trips to St. Mary's a week ago and that caused our doctors appointments to be moved up a few days. Hogan's heart looked relatively good on the monitor last week so the decision was made by Dr. Rosemond and Dr. Lohman that if his condition stayed the same in this weeks monitoring and next weeks appointment that the delivery will be scheduled for April 5th.
This news was good and bad for me. I am so ready to meet our little boy and Angie is too. The problem is that we are both very scared about what we are about to face. I feel that for the first time in a while the end of this journey (the pregnancy) is about to end. We have been told that because he is inside of Angie that his heart is helped by Angie. When Hogan enters the world he will be on his own. We will see how his heart, lungs and digestion works then. I think we both feel that we want to see Hogan but in the same excitement to see him the fear of the unknown also creeps into our minds. It is almost as if we wish the pregnancy could last another 9 months if it would keep Hogan alive. We don't want the little man to leave us. I don't think we are ready for that right now. I don't think we would ever be ready or will ever be ready.
We are also praying for Noah and Lily. We are worried about Noah's transition into being the oldest brother and the unknown of how Hogan will enter this world. It has been very difficult not knowing exactly how to handle Hogan's situation with him. We already feel that Noah knows something is not right. Lily is still so young that she doesn't really understand what is happening. Noah is a tough little man and I know that he will love on Hogan so much if we are blessed with the opportunity to bring him home from the Hospital.
We have an appointment with Dr. Lohman on Wednesday of this week and then if that goes well we will go to another appointment next Tuesday with Dr. Rosemond. The appointments will determine if the April 5th birth date is going to be set or if Hogan will be taken a little earlier. I know we have been praying and we have had so many people praying for our family and Hogan over the past few months. We are so thankful and we appreciate your continued prayers. We need them now more than ever and so will Hogan.
Our journey with Hogan is about to take a turn in the next 2 weeks. We don't know what that new direction will look like right now but we are praying for the strength and guidance that only God can give us. We continue to ask for prayers for Hogan's live birth and I also ask for you to pray for Angie. She is having a tough time right now battling emotions that I can't imagine. When I come into the bedroom at night and see her holding her belly (Hogan)... it rips my heart out. I know what is going through her mind without a word being spoken. Hogan is a lucky little guy to have Angie as his mother. I am a lucky man to have Angie as my wife and my best friend. I am also so blessed to have friends, family and even people that I have never met that have been so supportive.
Thank you for your prayers, love and support.
Thank you for loving Hogan.
We can make plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 NLT