Kip, Angie, Noah and Lily

Monday, January 18, 2010

rookie blogger

Yes, this is my first ever post on a blog site. If this blog can either help me, my wife or my children, or if another Trisomy family can find peace or strength through our situation or if there is a chance that someone might find God because of our journey then I know the blog was worth it.

This blog is a continuation of a website that I am starting called "Hogan's Heroes" it's motto is "remembering the ones". This motto "remembering the ones" is referring to the statistical numbers that parents are given during the pregnancy journey. There are numbers like your chance of "X" is 1 in 150, or "Y" is 1 in 1000 or "Z" is 1 in 8000 and I am sure there are more statistics out there than I would ever want to know but the point is that the 1 in all of these scenerios is probably never remembered. I know I didn't think too much about some of these numbers in our first pregnancy because everything went pretty smooth. We are now about to have a child that is a "1" in 8000. Hogan has a disorder called Trisomy 18 that makes his body imcompatible with life. He is facing many health issues, his heart has a hole in it along with many other problems.

I can't begin to thank all of the people that have emailed, called and written us to let us know that they are praying for us and Hogan. I am so thankful for supportive friends and family. I am also so thankful for an amazing wife that is carrying a baby that is facing death and knowing it ahead of time while still looking after our 3 year old son Noah and our 1 year old daughter Lily. Angie is a special person and if you have ever met her then you know how sweet and thoughtful my best friend is and has always been. I don't deserve all of these blessings but I am so thankful.

I have realized through the past couple of months that there is NO good death and especially NO good child or infant death. This isn't the way it is supposed to be, I am not supposed to be buying a place for my child to be buried in a cemetary, I am not supposed to be talking to the funeral home about how these things are handled. Why God? Why us? Why now? Why did you do this to us? Well, I we might not know why yet or may never know but we will be seeking God and searching for the answers.

We had an ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, which was the first ultrasound since November. It showed that Hogan still has many problems that go along with Trisomy 18 and that there were a few more problems that we didn't know about in November but there was one glimmer of hope for us. The Doctor told us that he felt our chance for a live birth were decent. That may not sound like much but considering the enormous amount of bad news we have had recently about Hogan it was incredible. The thought that we might get to hold our little boy before God takes him into heaven is something that we continue to pray that we get to do. We are going to have a meeting with multiple doctors next month to plan the pregnancy. We were told this birth would be handled much differently than the previous two. I was thankful that our doctors want to make sure that they do exactly what we want if Hogan enters this world alive, but no matter what happens Hogan will always be alive in us. I have never been so ready to go to Heaven as I am right now. I don't want to go anytime soon but this puts an entirely different picture on Heaven for me.

Heaven isn't just a place that I want to go instead of Hell but its a place I have got to go! I can't not be there, I have to see Hogan if this goes the way all of the doctors tell us that it is going to go. I am trying to focus on Jesus through this and ask for whoever might stumble onto this blog to pray for me. Pray for our family and pray that God will use this situation so that He will be glorified. We are trusting God because that is all we can do!

23 comments:

  1. Thinking and praying for the whole family! I know God will give you strength and peace to weather this difficult time. Love, Jean and Chip Kidd

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  2. Kip! Great job on putting this blog together! Your family is in our prayers every single day! Hogan is touching so many people with his story! And yes, Heaven is going to be awesome. I have so many people I'm looking forward to seeing too!! God Bless you and your family!

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  3. Kip and Angie- my heart goes out to all of you. I admire your strength and outlook through all of this and more than anything, I commend you for not taking control of this situation in ways that many doctors would recommend. Choosing to let the Lord be in charge of every aspect is a major testimony to the two of you. Brandon and I will continue to pray for you all, and for the Lord to comfort you. Kip-if you haven't, get the book called "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. If you think you're ready now, that book will change your life and make you more ready than ever! We have a blog, too. It's www.cherishann.blogspot.com. I look forward to seeing how God continues to work in your lives! Love you all!

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  4. Kip and Angie,
    I wish I had some magical words or could tell you about a new treatment that would heal your precious son, but I don't. I can only tell you that we love your precious family and you are in our prayers. We will be praying God will comfort you, give you strength, and embrace you in His loving arms as you walk through this journey. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but I hope you know how much you are loved. Please keep us updated and if there is anything we can do, don't hesitate to let us know. Jeremiah 29:11. Love, Jennifer

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  5. Angie, Kip and Family
    I am so sorry to hear that you all are going through this and your strength encourages me so much..My husband and I buried our little boy Mark Jr March of 07 he was stillborn(cord knot) and our little girl Malorie July of 08 also stillborn(preterm labor) and my emotions have been all of the place. It has taken me along time to trust in God and know that he is with me no matter what and I so believe that my babies are so happy and they are MY angels...I will keep your whole family in my prayers...You both are a inspiration to me...

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  6. Kip and Angie, thank you for sharing this walk of faith with us. I trust that you will find perfect peace each day as you cling to God, His grace and His goodness.
    Hogan is truly blessed. Blessed to have a loving family here on earth and even more blessed to have a loving Father to live with for all eternity.
    He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord. Isaiah 26 verse 3
    God bless you. Love to all, Kay

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  7. HI, MY NAME IS FRANKA. I WAS SENT YOUR BLOG BY ONE OF MY GODLY FACEBOOK FRIENDS. FIRST, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT GOD IS A GREAT GOD. ALTHOUGH THIS IS A TRYING TIME IN YOUR LIVES, GOD PUTS US THROUGH THINGS TO TEST OUR FAITH. NO MATTER WHAT THE OUTCOME IS, HOGAN WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR BABY. WHILE READING YOUR BLOG,ALTHOUGH IT'S HEARTBREAKING, I COULD NOT HELP BUT NOTICE ALL OF YOUR MANY BLESSINGS. THIS IS A SPECIAL FAMILY. GOD CHOSE YOU... YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE THIS..AND GOD WILL BE WITH YOU EVERY STEP OF THE WAY..I KNOW JUST AS I DON'T KNOW YOU, YOU DON'T KNOW ME...BUT I LOVE YOU....AND MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

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  8. Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, love and prayers. Angie and I are overwhelmed with your words. We can't thank you enough.

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  9. Kip and Angie,
    You are in our thoughts and prayers. Your words are so thoughtful and the love for your family is so evident. Whatever this journey may bring please know you and your sweet family will have our love and best wishes.

    Kim Barham

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  10. Kip, if you would send me your email I will send the prayer lines concerning Hogan to you!

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  11. Kip, I am so glad to see your blog, I have been praying for Hogan for the past two months since he was brought to my attention by Clint Harris. He has been a petition for healing and a miracle to God in my 21 day fast and prayer that I am currently in the middle of. Hogan WILL LIVE and God will be glorified by him! You are being tested and know that your miracle is in your tongue so start speaking your promises and inheritance over Hogan! To communicate directly to me email: djbraman@gmail.com and to have prayer lines of Hogan sent to you!

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  12. Kip, Angie, Noah and Lily,
    You are such amazing people and we don't know why but God chose yall to be Hogan's momma, daddy, bother and sister but you was hand picked by God himself. I am praying for you all. Your strenght is beyond words and your faith is so impressive. Hogan feels the love and the prayers. Just remember that God is the Great Physician and he performs miracles everyday. God is good and loves Hogan more than you will ever know. I love you all and I promise to be a prayer warrior for all of you especially Hogan who is so special already. I love you all and I am praying for God to intervene and allow Hogan to meet his family and all that love him so much.

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  13. Kip, Angie,
    Thank you for being such a good example of what parents really are. Melissa , Baby John and I will continue to pray for ya'll during this journey of life. One day you will look back , as we have all done , and wonder where your strength came from ? "God" you will tell yourself, and all will be GOOD. Again remember we are thinking of you all and will continue to pray. In some way, all will be Good. I promise ! Jay Brantley Family

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  14. Kip and Angie,
    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. As parents of two little ones your faith and courage inspires us. Please know that your family is so loved and will be in our thoughts and prayers. Kristin and Bob Fuhr

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  15. Our prayers are with you and all of your family! This has to be such a trying time for all of you and I know that God is with you and will be with you throughout the entire time. Thank you for sharing this blog. You have touched my heart as I am sure you have so many!!
    Ann and Randall Reese

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  16. Your words are so beautiful. I had to read them twice. God does not bring us to ANYthing- that he will not also bring us through. Your family is in our hearts and prayers.

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  17. Kip and Angie
    How my heart aches as I see you
    walk through this time in your life,yet I am so inspired by your faith and your growth in your spiritual life. Kip you and your family have meant so much to me over the years and Angie became a part of that love from day one. I'll never forget how you supported me during the loss of my love one and how much you meant to him. Over the last almost 7 years I have clung to Gods promises...He'll never leave me or forsake me, He'll never give me more than I can bear, His grace is sufficent to meet all my needs and all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. God did not give Hogan to just anyone He gave this special little one to special parents and He made a wonderful choice in you. The love of Hogan will continue to grow even after our Father takes him home. Always know you and he are in my prayers daily. Your faith has and will continue to touch many lives. I love all of you. Give Noah and Lily a hug for me . I love all of you.
    Lynette Rodgers

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  18. Kip & Angie,
    We are praying for you daily. We love both of you and those sweet babies...all 3. Even if dark hours come when you may not feel so loved, please don't ever doubt how much our Heavenly Father loves you. We will continue to pray. Love You! Jamie & Linda J.

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  19. praying for you and sweet Hogan....
    -The Vogeltanz family

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  20. I am so sorry to hear this news. I will be praying for you all. I can't imagine what all you and Angie are going thru right now and will go thru in APril. But just know that God will be there in that delivery room with you both. I pray that Hogan is born alive so you both can hold him, talk to him and let him know how much you prayed for him all this time. Then let him know it is okay to leave you. You both are so strong and I admire you. Keep strong during this journey and remember you have so many people praying for you. Susan Glenn

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  21. thank you all so much for your comments, love and prayers for our family and Hogan's fight for life! I want you to know that your prayers and comments are a blessing to us and I print and save all of them. One day Hogan can read all of them with me! We are so thankful for you.

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  22. Kip and Angie,
    It was you two wonderful people and the Pulliam's that brought me back to Christ in the Starting Point class that you led in January of 2007. Your faith that you shared with me back then still shines through you strongly today. Trust in the Lord..you taught me that..he can and does preform miracles EVERY day. When I had so many unanswered questions, it was your faith that reassured me of God's love for me. Remember now, my brother and sister, that He has that love for you too.
    As Spring unfolds, and the death of winter is renewed again in the life of new blossoms, I am constantly reminded that He is still preforming the miracle of bringing the dead to life...every day. Keep your faith. I love you both so very much. Prayers and hugs!!
    Christi and Robert Ward

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  23. Hi,
    My husband went to the doctor today and his doctor told him about yall and your son Hogan. I gave birth to a sleeping angel baby girl at 36 weeks and 3 days Jan. 26, 2009. She had Trisomy 18 or 13. I never had the amino so we are unsure which one it was exactly. Her name is Daisy Arabella. Arabella meaning (answered prayer). She was an answered prayer. I also have a beautiful healthy little girl named Lilly Anna born Oct. 26th, 2006. I will follow yalls story and if your wife ever wants to talk to me I would be more than willing. We live in Dexter, Ga. and I own a salon and boutique there. My blog is http://daisyarabellacook.blogspot.com/
    I will keep yall and Hogan in my prayers. Praying for yall's miracle!
    Amber Cook

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