Memorial Day 2010

Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Romans 5:1

"I do believe, but help me not to doubt!" Mark 9:24

How do we know what will happen tomorrow? For your life is like the morning fog.....it's here a little while, then it's gone. James 4:14

Dear Friends,

It feels like I have been in a race over the past few months. As you can tell by my pictures I don't run in too many races.. (obviously)! The races I have attempted always seemed like I started off trying to win the race but ended up just trying to survive to the finish! I think that is what the past few months of my life have been like. I have been just trying to survive Hogan's journey. The last turn Hogan took was on April 18th. I think the past few weeks have been my "recovery period". You know that time after the race when you look for water or maybe a banana and try to catch your breath knowing you have done something that was very difficult but that you finished. There is a mixture of pain and happiness in that moment. That is what I have been trying to do. I have been trying to catch my breath from an amazing ride that Hogan took us. God has used these past few weeks to let me catch my breath and to try and get refocused on life here on earth. I will admit, I have been distracted a little over the past few weeks as I have struggled to catch my "breath". Life is like a road race.

My last blog was a turning point for me again. I have been trying to figure out if God wanted me to keep blogging or not and if I was going to keep blogging, just how I was going to do it! I loved writing letters to Hogan and I wrote a couple after Hogan left to be with Jesus but it just doesn't feel the same. I have decided to keep the blog going and to keep updating what is going on with our families life now that Hogan has departed to a better place. It doesn't change the fact that it hurts like nothing else when I think about not being able to hold him or kiss him again but I try and step back and look at the "bigger" picture and focus on what God did and is doing through that little Warriors life! My prayer is that Hogan's legacy will continue to bring people closer to Jesus and to change lives for the better. I know he has impacted my life like nothing else and he is a reminder of just how precious we should take each day!

My job involves a good amount of travel and this morning I drove to Atlanta to go on a trip with a good friend and client of mine. The drive to Atlanta is not one of my favorite trips to make but it is a time when I can clear my mind. I started thinking about how fast life moves and how fast things change. Although it has only been a few weeks since Hogan passed, it feels like it has been a year to me. I was nicknamed the "paparazzi" at St. Mary's Hospital because I took so many pictures while Hogan was in the NICU. It was true.... because any time that Hogan got to be taken out of his isolette, I was there waiting to take pictures like photographers wait to take pictures of celebrities in Hollywood! I know the nickname was probably appropriate! I am so thankful that I got to take those pictures. I look back through them often and live those moments again in my mind. I know I can't go back to that time physically but I can almost get there mentally through these pictures. I have easily over a thousand pictures of Hogan and I still wish I would have taken just a few more!

I mention taking pictures because photography has always been a passion of mine. I helped out at a local TV station in middle Georgia about 15 years ago and loved it. Shooting camera shots and video is one of my favorite things to do. Hogan's life has inspired me to get back into this art. I have been able to get some great equipment and have learned many things from some talented photographers. I am also taking night classes at UGA this summer to try get better at this love of mine. I enjoy taking pictures of "things" but I love taking pictures of people and things together, especially sports or candid photography! I mention all of this because being in the hospital sitting beside and holding a little warrior like Hogan has made me want to be the best I can be in everything. I never really thought I had any talents but God has been able to open my eyes to a few possibilities that I want to pursue. The reason I love taking pictures is because it captures the moment. A friend of mine always says "make a memory". It doesn't matter what we are doing or where we are... he says "make a memory". I can't explain how much that "make a memory" comment comes to my mind every day. Life is about making memories and making an impact. That impact can be a good thing or a bad thing. I pray that I can make a positive impact and that God will use me like he has used Hogan. The moment a picture is taken, that moment will never be able to be brought back in real life. It is truly a memory. The people will never be that "old" again and that image will capture life at a moment in time that can be cherished.

I mentioned I like video too.... well, a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine in Atlanta called me about an opportunity to hear a story about an independent film that is being made here in Georgia. The meeting was going to be at his office to hear about it. I went because my friend wanted me to be there and because what he mentioned about the story was intriguing. I sat in a conference room overlooking downtown Atlanta and listened to the presentation. My heart was touched by the story. This movie sounds very interesting and I think it has a chance to change lives that will honor God. I will mention more about it as the production gets going later this year!

I started this post on Thursday while I sat in the Atlanta airport waiting to fly out of town and I am finishing it today, on Memorial Day. As I drove home yesterday I thought about how people are all different. As I drove down I-85 and looked around and it was hard to find 2 identical cars. I also easily noticed that not many people were driving the same speed or wanted to be driving the same rate of speed! Isn't it funny that if you are in a hurry and driving a little faster than normal everyone is driving too slow... but if you are taking it easy and someone comes zooming past you.... they were driving reckless. I believe that we are all living life at different speeds and in different ways through our own journey. Our relationship with Christ is personal. It is just like the car we choose to drive and the speed that makes up comfortable. We are all on our own journey! I am thankful for a great road map called the Bible. It's the perfect navigation system. The directions never change and never have to be updated. I pray that our journey will bring us closer to Jesus and that if someone doesn't have a road map or is lost that someone comes along and helps that person get back on the right path. I am so thankful for the friends that have helped me stay focused on our "Point".

I briefly mentioned how I travel often with my job. During this time when our economy is not strong. I am very thankful to be able to have a great job. I am also thankful that markets were calm during the Hogan's journey and especially while we were at the hospital with him. My partners and office staff were so great to me during my stay at the hospital. I never worried about anything while I was there because the common theme was "don't worry about anything, we are taking care of everything". They wanted me to enjoy every moment with Hogan. I am so thankful that I was blessed to have this opportunity. Hogan's life reminded me just how fortunate I am to have such a great office and great clients. It's easy to go through life and take things for granted sometimes. I am trying to never take anything for granted anymore. I had never tried to do this in the past but now it's even more of a passion.

I mentioned making memories.... well, yesterday on my way back to Atlanta I went through the normal routine at an airport. I checked my rental car back in to the company and then went through the ticketing process. I noticed as I walked up to the computer that a couple had walked up beside me with a beautiful little baby. I am not an outgoing person by nature so I didn't say anything to them but in my mind I was wondering if this baby could have been born the same day Hogan was born. I walked off to go through security and got a cup of coffee while I waited to board the plane. I never saw the couple in the airport after our brief encounter at check-in. It was about an hour later when the attendant called our flight destined for Atlanta to board. I couldn't wait to board the plane and get back home to see Angie, Noah and Lily. I walked through the aisle of the plane and looked for my seat. I was sitting seat 9B which is the one 2nd from the window and on the aisle of this particular small Delta jet. I looked over the right of me and noticed there was the couple that I had noticed at check-in sitting in seats 9C and 9D . They were already seated holding their little angel. Needless to say it was one of the longest plane flights of my life. It wasn't long in time but it was long because of my heavy heart. I glanced over at that little girl and imagined Hogan being in our arms. I imagined that Hogan would be the same size if he were still alive. I can't explain how bad I wanted to kiss and hold their little baby! It hurt me so bad and at the same time it warmed my heart to see this couple loving on their beautiful baby. I couldn't help it... when we had landed and were about to leave the plane, I asked the father how old their baby was... he said "3 months"... the baby was born on March 2nd. She was born exactly a month before Hogan. The couple was on their way back home in New Jersey after visiting family in Alabama. I told them that their baby was so cute and congratulated them. You could easily see the love for her in their eyes. They were "making a memory" in their life. I pray that we all "make memories" that honor God and that we enjoy life and live it with a passion that it might be our last day. Thanks for continuing to be on this journey with us.

In His Love,

Kip

It's been over a month now...where do we go from here?

This is a picture of a drawing that someone did for us of Hogan in the hands of Jesus. A friend took a picture of Hogan off of this blog. We will treasure this forever!

Hogan holding my finger a few hours before he went to be with Jesus.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. James 1:17

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path you take. Proverbs 3:5,6

Dear Friends,

I wanted to thank you all so much for loving us and for loving Hogan so much.

I can't express to you how much your messages on this blog, the cards in the mail and the messages that have been sent through my facebook page have meant to me. I am having a really hard time figuring out what God wants me to do now that Hogan has gone to be with Jesus. I have started about 20 posts since Hogan left this world and I have only posted 2 of them! I don't really know why I can't write my blog post like I was doing over the past few months. It is a strange feeling because I get almost through with a post and then my mind just goes straight to Hogan and the hurt just rips my heart out and I can't post or finish the post.

I know that might sound stupid to many of you but I wanted to update everyone to let you know that we are picking up the pieces and trying to live in this world "after Hogan".

Angie and I went to the mountains for the night last night. It was the first night away our kids since they have been born (other than when Hogan was in the hospital). We probably needed to get away for the night but the moment we walked in the door tonight, reality hit! Noah and Lily both came running down the hall to say hello and to welcome us back home with smiles and hugs. The first thing Noah asked us was "did you bring baby Hogan home?". He assumed that we had been at the hospital with Hogan. I can't tell you how much it broke my heart to hear him say those words but at the same time those words made me realize the impact Hogan made on Noah as well. Noah loved Hogan so much and doesn't understand why he isn't here with us. The truth is that I really don't understand why Hogan isn't here with us now either. We will probably never know. All we can do is trust God like we trusted him during Hogan's journey while he was alive on this earth.

Thank you all so much for loving us through this time in our lives. We are so thankful for all of you.

I am going to continue to blog because my heart still feels the way it did in January when I started blogging. I don't know if this is for me, my family, a friend, a stranger or someone that might go through a situation like this. If one person can be touched by Hogan's journey and it brings them to a closer relationship with Jesus then it's worth it!

In His Love,

Kip

Mother's Day 2010

Angie loving on Hogan in the NICU at St. Mary's in April 2010.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. Romans 5:3 NLT

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:23-26 NLT

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. Psalm 9:10 NLT

Dear Hogan,

I wish I could have communicated this with you when you were in the NICU with me hanging out for our "guys night out". I miss you.

It has taken a little while to get through some storms that have come since you left this earth. We love you and we have our faith in Jesus. We are thankful for the time that we got to spend with you on this earth but it still doesn't take the pain away. Hogan, I know people go through so much worse events and we are blessed to have spent some special time with you. You are in Heaven. You have a perfect body. We know all of this but for some reason that "chamber" in our hearts is still empty. We are praying that God will help heal that hidden chamber.

I wanted you to know that the "Hogan's Heroes" children's library at Prince Avenue Christian School in honor of your life is in the works! Your mother and I are meeting with the school on Wednesday to see what can be done. We are so thankful for all of your friends that contributed or prayed for this to happen in your honor. There have been so many cards, notes, prayers, contributions to charities in your honor Hogan. You impacted so many lives and for that I am so thankful.

We will celebrate mother's day tomorrow here. I know it will be tough on your mom tomorrow. She misses you so bad. Your sister and brother have gotten her a surprise and worked on a card for her! I wish you could have been here to celebrate with us.

I have been thinking as usual about your life and remembering things about your journey. Since tomorrow is mother's day I started thinking about all mother's in general. I believe that to be a parent of a child is one of the most unbelievable gifts that someone can experience. My heart goes out to those that can't have children. I can't understand how a mother of a child or a father of a child can't believe in Jesus. All babies are miracles. The birth of a child and the development of a child is nothing short of amazing. I have had to visit the hospital a few times since you left this world and when I step back into St. Mary's it feels different. I can't really explain it but it feels different. There are so many mixed emotions. There are always babies being born and happy faces all around. I pray that parents don't take a healthy baby for granted. I know I did until last year. It makes me want to go tell them all of your story so maybe they will hold their baby a little tighter or love on them a little more than they might would have otherwise.

I will never forget Dr. Rosemond standing up on that Thursday afternoon in November of 2009 and telling us that you had some things on the ultrasound that concerned him. Hogan, it brings tears to my eyes to think back on that day. It was at that moment that your mom turned into a child in my eyes. She turned into your "papa's daughter". She wasn't my wife for a few minutes. I looked at her and I saw a little girl that's heart was broken. I will never forget looking at her on that table and my heart being broken. It wasn't only for her but it was for both of you. I had feelings that were so torn. I hurt for you and I hurt for your mom. I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do but pray to God and try and comfort your mother.

I had the same feeling the early morning hours of April 18th. Hogan, when you passed away, your mother turned into that little girl again in my eyes. She held you for a long time after your heart had stopped and your heart stopped beating. She kept talking to you and holding you tight. You looked like a baby doll in her arms. It was only a few hours later that we were home and Lily was awake. She was walking around the house with a baby doll. Hogan, it is just one of those things that most women are born to do and that is to love a child. In my mind I thought back to your mom's early years and how she probably did the same thing. Your mother is a special woman. She is a gift from God. I pray that all mother's will be honored and treated special tomorrow and I pray that all mother's realize the gift that they have been given.

I hope that all the mother's that stumble across this blog have a great Mother's Day tomorrow and every day after tomorrow!

I love you.

Remembering the ones...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalms 34:18 NLT

Dear Hogan,

It sure is strange typing these letters with you not laying in front of me in your isolette in the NICU at St. Mary's. The more I think about your life and your journey the more amazed I am. You helped me realize just how big of a God that we serve. I heard somebody thanking God for all of the great things that were going on in their life recently. They finished there statement with "God is good". What if things weren't going so great for someone? Would that same person name off all of the bad things that were going on in their life and say "God is not good"? I would hope not! God is good all of the time. It doesn't mean that just because you are a believer that you won't have any problems. It doesn't mean that you won't have a baby and have that baby die of a condition called Trisomy 18 or something similar. It doesn't mean that you or someone you love won't be diagnosed with cancer. Hogan, I love you and miss you so much but God is good. I don't understand why some things happen and probably never will but God is good.

I wanted to let you know how honored we were that Mrs. Peacock spoke of your life at the March of Dimes baby walk here in Athens on Friday night. Angie, Noah, Lily and I were there to support the event and to honor your life along with the other babies. You would have loved being there! Many of your friends from St. Mary's were there along with Hairy Dawg, some big bear and a dinosaur from Publix... he was Noah and Lily's favorite!

I have been thinking back on your journey. Hogan, we honestly weren't planning to have another child. You were a surprise to us. I remember your mom was having some thyroid problems. I went to Kroger to buy pregnancy tests one night to see if it was thyroid or baby!?! The test confirmed it was a baby! We were shocked at first. I honestly thought nothing but negative thoughts for the first couple of hours. I am so sorry for thinking about the long term and all of the responsibilities that come with another child. I think it is natural for a man to think that way but it's no excuse... I should have been thankful from the first moment! I walked into the living room and just sat there for a while. I was so overwhelmed. I told Angie that we would have 3 kids in college at the same time. I told her that we would have 3 of this and 3 of that.... I was so selfish in my thought process. It didn't take long for Angie to open my eyes. She said "honey" we aren't guaranteed anything in life. We might not be here for the birth or for college and our kids might not be here either. We can't assume anything. Hogan, I thank God for your mother opening my eyes. It was at the moment that I realized she was totally right. It was a turning point for me. I also thought back to the Hotel Indigo in Scottsdale, Arizona. I thought to myself, God might use this little baby for a special purpose. I had NO idea how special this baby (you) would be. My thoughts soon turned from nervous fear to thankful anticipation. I thought that it would be nice to have more diapers strolling through the house. I also thought that God was going to let me enjoy this birth because I was not able to enjoy Lily's birth as much because I was preoccupied with the death of your grandad (my dad). It turns out that God did allow me to enjoy your birth. I never took one moment for granted. I pray that I will never take any moment for granted again. You are always on my mind Hogan.

I also think back on many things that were interesting along the way. A friend told me one day that although we pray for healing at certain points that death always comes back. It's temporary healing that we pray. Another comment that I thought was interesting was... isn't it funny that all of the abortion supporters weren't aborted. I have never heard from one child or adult that was aborted to hear how they stand on the issue. I have said this before and I will say it again, I am thankful that our family gave you a chance and we are so thankful for the memories and the life lessons that we have learned from God through you.

I thank God for you because now I can remember the one's like you. I can enjoy the "ones" that I talked about in my first blog and I can also relate to the families so much better. I wasn't comfortable for whatever reason with "ones" before you were diagnosed. I have no idea why that I wasn't but it's not that I didn't want too... it was just uncomfortable for me. Hogan, you rocked my world and turned that feeling upside down (thank God!). I now see true beauty. It isn't the people that are on the front of national magazines. It's ones like you! I am not saying that there aren't great people on the front of those magazines but it's just that you never see the "ones" like you! Your story is special. God used your journey for good.

Noah and Lily love looking at your pictures around the house. They love you so much.

I miss you and will always love you Hogan.

Memories of Hogan's journey.....

Angie is ready to have this beautiful baby boy Hogan!

Hogan Sayer Dominy (God's Little Warrior!)

Good Memories!

Hello World!

Thankful!

Hogan's eyes that could light up the city!

Hogan was a fighter!

"Our Angel"

A very interested older brother (Noah) and little sister (Lily)

Happy to see Baby Hogan!

Wow! Baby Hogan is here!!

Thank you God for this memory!

Lily wanted to check out her little brother!

A proud mom with her miracle baby!

What is faith? It is the confident assurance that we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave his approval to people in days of old because of their faith.

By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen. Hebrews 11:1-3

Dear Hogan,

I sure do miss you!

Hogan, you were an amazing little baby. God had a plan for you during your short life and I know that you are now in a much better place. You are in a place that we all want to be some day! I know that as I have mentioned to you before... Heaven has a new face now than it did a few weeks ago. I have got to see you again. I don't want to miss out on today or wish time away but I am not going to be upset one day when God's plan calls me home.

I wanted to thank all of your friends for all the kind messages, the many prayers for our family, and the continued prayers and thoughts. We can't thank your friends enough for their kindness. I have started about 8 different letters but haven't posted any of them until tonight. This letter is "new" and different from the others. I think I am going to write you letters periodically and let you know what is going on with our family. I will also update you on how God is continuing to work through your 3 pound body. Although you have gone to be with Jesus in Heaven you will never be forgotten!

Hogan, everyone that has stumbled onto this blog has done so for a reason. God has used your little life for His glory. God used you to change our family in a good way. Yes, it ripped my heart out and it continues to hurt because I miss you so much but I know deep down that everyone will have the same fate one day.

I have been thinking back on our journey together. It is clear to me that God is a good God. He is a loving God. I believe that the closer I am to God that the more I saw Him working in your life. Isn't is neat how that always happens! The closer our walk with Jesus by our side the more we see "Him" at work!?

I was so happy that so many of your friends showed up at your visitation and your funeral. The visitation was very nice. You had a long line of people that were all telling us about their life being better because of you! Although it was nothing like being in the NICU with you, your little body looked great that night. You were dressed up like the best looking little baby warrior I have ever seen. Your mother picked out a beautiful casket and we had "dog" and your car beside you. The only good thing about your little body being there was being able to admire your little face without all of your tubes. Hogan, you looked great.

Your mother and I also were thankful for your friends that came to celebrate your life at the funeral last Wednesday. The weather couldn't have been any better. It was one of the toughest days since saying good bye to you on Sunday morning but your mother and I made it through the day. I believe that we both were so exhausted because of lack of sleep and the emotional roller coaster that we have been riding with you the past couple of weeks. I was thankful that I was able to pull a video together that I titled "Hogan's Journey" to be played at your service. It was something that I wanted to do in your honor. Hogan, you might have only lived 16 days but the time you spent on this earth will be remembered forever. You brought people together to pray that didn't normally pray. God allowed you to help people grow closer as a family. God also used you to help kids that are only a few years older than you pray and learn about your condition. Hogan, I am so thankful for your life.

I can't wait for you all of your friends to meet you again one day but until that day comes I think we should try and focus on the lessons that God showed us through your time on this earth. Your were a warrior that never took a day for granted. You woke up enjoying that day and focusing on enjoying the simple things. Your heart was too big for your little body so eventually it cost you your life. You had a huge heart that was full of love. I believe I need to focus on my heart too. I don't think your mission here was to tell us to eat right either. Although that is important, your heart was the issue from the beginning. I believe as a Christian that our heart should always be the focus. It's not about what people see on the outside. It's all about what is on the inside that counts. I believe that you were used by God to show many important "life lessons" like this! I hear things every day that make me think about you Hogan. I will never forget going to a local Kroger the morning after you went to be with Jesus. I said hello to the cashier as he slowly slid my items across his scanner. I asked him how he was doing and in a very depressing tone he said "I'm alive". Hogan, it was all I could do not to "go off" on him. I just smiled at him and said "it could be worse". I believe that most of us can say that about our life situations. I know we, as a family, went through a very difficult time with you over the past few months but it could have been worse.

Hogan, I am so happy that you are with Jesus. Yes, I want you here with me and it makes me sick to think about not holding you or seeing your little eyes looking at me but it could have been worse. I thank God that you weren't 18 and a non believer and died. That would have been much worse. We have been blessed with three beautiful children. You are with Jesus. Now, we have to pray that Noah and Lily will be there one day too. We are going to enjoy every day with them just like we enjoyed the days with you Hogan. We will do that in honor of your life. I know we would have tried to do this before we were blessed with your life but I have no doubt that enjoying Noah and Lily are even more of a priority now. Thank you for opening my eyes to see things more clearly.

There are many things that are "ironic" or things that make me think our God has an amazing sense of humor. I was sitting in a hotel room in Scottsdale, AZ on a business trip last November. I had finished my meetings early on Thursday was very bored. I couldn't get an early flight back to Atlanta so I just hung out in Scottsdale that afternoon. I remember just thinking to myself and praying... asking God to give meaning to my life.... I asked God to show me if I had any talents and for any talent to be used for his glory. I had never had a feeling that God used me for good. I am a financial advisor, not a "full time" minister. (that is another letter later Hogan!) All of this took place at a neat little hotel called the "Hotel Indigo". I will fast forward this story a few months. We have just planned the visitation and the funeral. My mother asked if she could help us find a place for the family and friends from out of town to gather to have lunch after your service. She talked to our office and they discussed different places. I was told later that they found a place that would host the lunch. That location was the "Hotel Indigo" in downtown Athens, Georgia. I had never been there before. I think this is a little ironic. The place where I cried out to God in Arizona, before we found out about Hogan's condition, was the same hotel that we had our lunch here in Athens after the funeral and graveside. I mention all of this because I feel it is ironic because I prayed that God would would show me any talent that could be used to glorify him. He did something much greater than any talent I might have been blessed. He blessed me by letting me sit beside a little warrior named Hogan Sayer Dominy. He blessed me by allowing the opportunity to watch Hogan help change lives in many people that have never met our family. If you have been blessed with children then you know the feeling when your child does anything that makes you smile. Hogan, you made me smile many times. I love looking at your pictures and watching your videos. God allowed me to be by Hogan's side on this journey. He also allowed many others to join the journey. God is so good.

One last thing...I also wanted you to know that many of your friends have donated funds for the "Hogan's Hero's" children's area for the library at Prince Avenue Christian School! It was a great idea by a friend of yours. Hopefully your older brother and sister will be able to enjoy reading with classmates there in a few years. It will also be something that will last forever! I pray that God will continue to use your story and your life. Hogan you beat the odds. You fought like there was no tomorrow. I pray that I live my life as passionate as you. I thank God for your life. I also thank God for every breath.

I will always love you!

Thank you Hogan, thank you friends, thank you God....

April 2nd (Hogan's Birthday!)

Our "Angel" the warrior

One amazing little baby, one amazing woman.

Hanging out with "Dog" under the lights

"Grandma Hogan" getting to hold Hogan

Nana Skelton and Papa Skelton holding Hogan

Bright eyes.... Hogan and "Dog"

Proud Parents!

Hogan, My Hero

Big Brother Noah loves Hogan

Thank you

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Dear Hogan,

Good evening little guy. I sure do wish I was back in the NICU having our guys night out right now with you. Thank you for giving us a complete day to hold you before you had to leave. It was not easy to walk back into St. Mary's and clean your room out today. I loved being there with you over the past 16 days.

We all know that our time to leave this world will come but yesterday we saw a few hours before you left that you wanted to say goodbye to us. I am thankful that your mother and I were able to kiss your beautiful lips yesterday! You have amazed many people for over two weeks and you continued to amaze them with your fight to live and impact lives until early this morning. I like that fact that you had a sense of humor all the way up until midnight. You played with your numbers on the monitors all day. Nurse Lisa came in to say good bye many times when you just wanted to say hello to her. Hogan, you know she didn't want you to leave either but we all noticed that you were ready.

We are so proud of you Hogan. I can't thank God enough for giving us these wonderful days to spend with you. Yes, I naturally wanted more time and I have never felt pain like I feel typing these words but I am focusing on our "point"! (And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) I am so thankful that I got to be your dad here in this world. I was honored to hand you over to your Heavenly Father last night but it hurt so bad. I know you are in the best hands now! I thought I did the best I could for you on this earth but now you are with a perfect Father!! You have no more cords coming out of you or attached to you! You have probably met many of our friends that have gone ahead of you. I have met many other families that have lost children during our journey together and I am sure they are all happy to have you there. You are a special angel. You are a special baby that was sent here to make a difference in this world. You accomplished so much in your short time here.

Hogan, you were a great role model for young children! I know you heard me talking about all of the children that were praying for you and that were asking about you every day! I know you want those children to know that you are all better now. You want all of those children that sent you all of those sweet notes to know that you are now perfect! You are probably up in Heaven creating havoc like you did down here. I know that the doctors offices or the staff at St. Mary's won't forget your beautiful eyes or your sense of humor. You loved with your spirit, your eyes and your will to live. You made the most of every day. You didn't take one breath for granted. You gave us the chance to hold you in our arms until you were ready to leave. I am so thankful we got to hold you in our arms and tell you how much we loved you all day. You let me hold you until you took your last breath and let you mom hold you until your last heart beat. Thank you Hogan. Thank you God. We love you so much.

I am still amazed at how many people have been touched by your life Hogan. I have been on facebook for 3 years asking people to be my friend and a few hundred were nice enough to accept my invite. I put a couple of random messages on this blog to "friend" me to follow your journey more often and I had more than 1500 new friends in a matter of days. Hogan, you are a hero. God used you for good. I am sure He is continuing to use you!

I am so thankful that your mom is so strong. Did you notice how she held you close and cried out to you while you were saying goodbye? She was asking if you were seeing angels. She loved you like only a mother can love a child. She took over most of the "nurse" duties in the NICU for you over the last few days. She is an incredible mother and an amazing wife. I am so blessed.

Hogan, you have no idea how much Lily and Noah wanted you to come home to see them. I think they were a little upset when some people came to take away your isolette and accessories from our house. Noah said "that's Hogan's bed" when they were rolling it away. You will have to tell Jesus to help me explain your mission to him!! Lily loves you too! I think she was making sure there was nothing to eat around your isolette! She likes to eat like I do... she is a cutie!

I was so happy that your Grandparents and your Great Grandmother Granny Blanche got to see you and get kisses before you went to be with Jesus. I am so thankful that my mother, your "grandma Hogan" got to enjoy your life too. I believe that God used your "grandma Hogan" over my life to prepare me for a major storm like this one. Although God didn't always calm the storms that she encountered in her life, He always calmed her and gave her peace and strength. I also know that it was Angie's grandparents and mother and father that God used to give her the foundation to stand firm in the middle of this storm. We are so thankful for our families.

Your friends have become family to us! I read your messages on your blog and my facebook page and I see so many people mention how although they have never met you they feel like they know you. I think the feeling is mutual. Although we haven't met your friends "face to face" in person. I feel like I know them. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. I believe that is where the connection has surfaced. We have all prayed together. We have all laughed together and celebrated the good times and we have all cried together and felt pain together in the bad times. We all know that just because we are believers that it doesn't mean we don't hurt or go through tough times. Sometimes God uses these tough times to make us better and we can learn so much from them. I feel like God has taught me so much by being with you over the past two weeks. He has used your life to connect Christians in Denmark, England, Canada, Germany, Australia, Africa and in most every state here in the United States. I am overwhelmed by how big God really is. I am also thankful that we will soon celebrate and honor your life with your friends. We are going to celebrate your life with a funeral service on Wednesday at 11AM at Prince Avenue Baptist Church with a short graveside at Oconee Hill behind Sanford Stadium in Athens. Your mother and I have asked Lord and Stephens to have a visitation on Tuesday night in Oconee County for any of your friends to come say hello to us. You mother and I already had decided before your birth no matter if you lived 1 second, 1 week, 1 year or whatever that we would do this for you. Like I told you in a few blogs over the months. You are no better or no worse than any other person on this earth. I do believe your time management skills were a little above the norm though :-).

Hogan, it has been a long journey. Your journey took a turn on April 2nd when you entered this world and it took a turn early this morning when you left it. It is amazing the feeling of the secret chamber in your heart that opens when you have a child. You can't explain it. It's just a feeling that you didn't know you could love someone that much or like "that". Then when child number 2 comes along... another chamber opens that you didn't know exists. You never thought you could love your second child like your first. When number 3 comes along that next hidden chamber opens... it feels so amazing. These hidden chambers are hard to explain because they are so big but yet so tender. There is so much love there but yet it doesn't take much to hurt those hidden chambers. I now know what it feels like when one of those chambers suddenly vanishes. There is a hole there that is worse than any other feeling in this world. I tried to get ready for it and plan for it mentally but I couldn't. As good as that chamber suddenly opens when a new child enters this world it is more painful on the opposite end when the child leaves. I know that God will get us through this time. I am not doubting God and I know that God wouldn't allow more than I can handle. I am going to focus on our "point", Hogan!!

Your mom and I read in books about Trisomy 18 and asked many physicians about this condition over the past few months. There was very little hope for a "wimpy white male baby" (all white male babies get tagged this).. to make it to birth with this condition. I think every person knows now that you are not the "normal" wimpy white male baby!! You were God's baby Warrior! You were on a mission to get here and when you got here you were on a mission. God used you so much in your days on this earth. It was an honor to be beside you on your journey here on this earth. You are now in Heaven and I believe that you are still on a mission. I believe that your story will live on. I pray that God will continue to use your love and your passion to live. You made an impact in this world Hogan!! You put a different face on Heaven for me. It was a place that I wanted to be before you were born. Now, its a place that I have got to be. I can't wait to see you again.

I miss my little warrior with the huge heart.

I love you.

Hogan Sayer Dominy

Hogan Sayer Dominy

4/2/2010 - 4/18/2010

http://www.teresavickery.com/hogandominy.mov

Dear Friends,

Hogan fought an amazing fight for the past two weeks. He honored God with every breath he took and changed our lives forever. He passed away early this morning in our arms. Our hearts are heavy with love for him. We will continue to focus on the point and thank God for allowing us this special time. He was and is a miracle. Thank you all for loving on us and him. Hogan was God's little warrior with a huge heart. He has no problems now. He has a new body. We would love your continued prayers. We love all of you for joining Hogan on his journey. I could tell how bright his eyes got when I would tell him about the messages that were sent to him. Thank God for his little life and the impact that he made on this world.

In His Love,

Kip

Hogan, you are an amazing warrior!

Hogan Sayer Dominy

...we are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit...we get knocked down but we get back up and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be obvious in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death but it has resulted in eternal life for you. II Corinthians 4:8-12

Dear Hogan,

I am enjoying being with you again tonight in the NICU. I know it's a little different because your mom and I have been holding you all day. We even let your dog, "dog" out to hang out with us today. I am pretty sure that you have liked being in our arms because you have thought about leaving this world a few times but you keep coming back.

Hogan, you are such a blessing to so many people. You are an amazing little warrior that has fought to be with us and accomplish your purpose here on this earth. We are so thankful that God has given us this time to be with you. Your mom mentioned earlier to me today that she wished so badly that she could have held you in her arms like she did with Noah and Lily. Guess what!? You are letting her hold you like that tonight. She is letting you lay on her chest while she sleeps. I am so proud of you Hogan. You dropped your stats all day long and always came fighting back again and again. I think that you might be up to your tricks again. Nurse Lisa was running back and forth all day for you. I know you love her! You get to play tricks again with Nurse Laura tonight! Also, your grandparents, aunts and uncles were called to come to the hospital at noon because it didn't look like you would be here much longer. They stayed with us all afternoon and watched you almost leave a few times and have now all gone home to rest. I was glad they all got to kiss you and tell you how much you were loved by them.

I don't want you to be afraid Hogan. Once you leave this earth, your little body will not have all of those accessories that you have now. I know, I know, you like them and you think that is normal. It's not normal buddy! You will have a perfect body one day! Once you leave this earth you will go and be with Jesus in Heaven. It will be a happy time for you. I am sure you will have many buddies there!

I wanted you to know that people are being so good to us. They are sending messages, prayers and love your way Hogan! I hope you heard me this afternoon when I was telling you about all of those amazing people that love you.

We have hugged and kissed on you all day long. I know you are tired from fighting. I know you are probably tired of us telling you how much we love you! I want you to rest tonight buddy. I know you are probably worried about the people that you might leave behind if you choose to go be with Jesus but I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I want you to be here tomorrow night for me but I want what is best for you Hogan. Your mother and I will miss you more than you will ever know if you decide to leave but we will see you soon when we meet again in Heaven. You have done so much in your 15 days, soon to be 16 days! God is so mighty. You have let God use your little body to do more good than I thought was ever possible. Hogan, you are my hero. I love you with all of my heart.

I will write you another letter tomorrow night but right now I am about snuggle up beside you and your mom. I am so thankful for you.

I love you.

"baby Hogan"

Teresa Vickery - Incredible Nurse, Incredible Photographer, and NILMDTS angel!

14 Day Birthday!!!

Noah loves his baby brother Hogan.

Handle with Care!

Thank you for all of the Auburn prayers.... thanks Wynne, Hogan loves the blanket!

For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. Psalm 100:5 NLT

Let them all praise the name of the Lord, for his name is very great; his glory towers over the earth and heaven! Psalm 148:13 NLT

Dear Hogan,

I am so glad that you are here. Happy 2 week birthday!!! I hope you liked all of the balloons that were flying above your isolette this morning when you woke up. Your mom and I enjoyed getting to share that moment with you.

I am sorry that those old heart problems started acting up again early this morning. I know your medicine made you a little sleepy but we wanted you to relax. You have been fighting so hard it was evident you needed some rest. Hogan, you are a true warrior. Thank you for letting us hold you so much today. I hope you enjoyed being out of your isolette more than normal. Did you see Noah's eyes when he saw you this morning!? Wow, Noah was so happy to see you. I am so thankful that Noah loves you so much. Did you like the blue race car that he brought you? I saw that he had a package with 2 race cars in it when he came into your room. It made me so proud when he told me that one of the cars was for "baby Hogan". He wanted you to have the blue car and Noah kept the red race car. That is the cool automobile that your "dog" has been checking out all day. I am starting to think that "dog" is wondering if you are going to take that race car and get out of this place sometime soon!!?!

Hogan, if you don't have a problem with it... then I think I am going to let your mom hang out with us tonight and join our "guys night" in the NICU. I know, I know.... no more peanuts, popcorn and making the alarms go off so that we can see which nurse is the fastest to get here. You did give "dog" your stop watch right?? Remember when you kept doing flips in Dr. Rosemond's office during your appointment? I wish you could have watched Ms. Candace's face when Dr. Rosemond sat down to check you out and you had flipped. You are quite the prankster! I have noticed that you have trouble picking out your favorite nurse to pick on every day and night. They are all fun and they all love you so much. I guess we will let your mom into our little "guys piece of Heaven on earth" in the NICU tonight.

Thank you for two wonderful weeks Hogan. We have laughed and cried together. I will never forget our times together and we will never lose the friendships we have made. Do you think you can go for three weeks!?!? How about we just focus on our point and see what happens? I am starting to even think like you Hogan! You are such a good influence on me. Thank you for being here another night. Let's take one minute/hour/day at a time. I look forward to writing another letter tomorrow night. I am going to put this computer down tonight and hold you for a while and tell you all of the things that people are saying about you. I am going to pray with you. I am going to let you know how many children just a few years older than you are loving you and praying for you every day. I am going to tell you about grandparents and parents and teenagers that are praying for you. I am going to tell you about all of different states and countries have people praying for you. God isn't in a box Hogan. God is amazing. He allowed a baby named Hogan who only weighs 3 pounds to come into this world and be an amazing disciple. Let's thank God for the journey that we have been on and for the people that we have met and brought along with us. Hogan, your journey is not over. Let's make some more memories!

I love you.

Hogan, the warrior with the big Heart!

Angie and I have really enjoyed holding Hogan today.

Nurse Lisa loves Hogan and Hogan loves Nurse Lisa!

Big Brother Noah stopped by to say hello to Hogan!

Noah wanted to kiss Hogan, tell him that he loved him and he gave him a blue race car!!!

Happy 2 week Birthday Hogan!!

Hogan, my hero

http://www.teresavickery.com/hogandominy.mov

Dear Friends,

I wanted you all to know that Hogan is having a really tough time. He is in no pain and has an amazing peaceful look about him that only God can give. He is alive and in no pain right now. I have eluded to his heart being big so many times in my past blogs and it looks like the little man just has too big of a heart. I know you can tell by the way he has lived his life and has loved so many. His eyes have been so peaceful since day 1.

We are enjoying today just like the other days with him. We have thrown the isolette out as the official "holder" today and have been soaking up ever moment that we have been able! We are so blessed with so many friends and followers of Hogan and we appreciate you being on this journey with him. The journey has been a long one but has been filled with blessings that I can't count. We have Romans 8:28 on Hogan's white board here in the NICU at St. Mary's today and it is so true. Although it rips my heart out to see my son like this, it is also a blessing to have been able to be with him on this journey and to be able to be with him today. I wish I could trade places with him. I don't understand some things but am trusting God and focusing on the "point' which is Him. I pray that we do this every day. Hogan is alive today and I don't want to give up hope but I want what is best for Hogan and not me. My hope and prayer that we would have a live birth was a miracle. Every day of life is a miracle. The human body is a miracle. God has taught me so much by using this little warrior! He has fought and won many battles. He has brought Glory to God's kingdom. He has changed our family for the better forever. He has made so many people proud and gave so many people inspiration. I am so thankful to God for him. Angie and I aren't leaving his side for the rest of this journey.

Angie is holding Hogan right now and I have to get back to my time with him!!!! I have many more kisses to give him tonight. I will look forward to writing the little guy a letter later tonight! God Bless all of you and thank you for your prayers!! I wanted to send this "update" out to you so that you would know what was going on with Hogan today. I can't tell you how thankful we are for the love and support that you have given us. I have gotten so many notes from you which has been so uplifting. I will try and update this blog later tonight. I hope you all have a great weekend and enjoy God's greatest gift... life... here on earth and then with him for eternity! That is the greatest gift. Hogan may live another 50 years or he may live another 5 minutes or 1 day. We all have this prognosis! If there is one thing I have learned from God through Hogan is to live every day like its your last and fight every battle with a focus on your "point" Jesus Christ!

We love you all.

Kip, Angie, Noah, Lily Rose and Hogan (God's little warrior!)

A little Miracle from God...

Hogan Sayer Dominy

Hogan loves his Mom!

My hero!

"For I know the plans I have for you," Says the Lord." They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope In those days when you pray, I will listen. "If you look for me in earnest, you will find me. Jeremiah 29:11-13

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Dr. Hogan,

I am so happy to be sitting here with you only a few hours before we will celebrate your 2 week birthday! I know you have had a roller coaster ride over the past couple of weeks but we are so glad that you keep fighting to live. God continues to use your little body in such a miraculous way. I am so proud of you. I tell your brother, sister and your mom how proud of them I am too. God has blessed me so much. I am so thankful.

I am so happy that you had such a good morning and afternoon today! I know things got a little crazy for you tonight and you got to take some new medicine to calm your heart problems but I am so thankful that your body seems to be tolerating the medicine and it seems to be working. I was so happy that I got to hold you late tonight too! Your mom went home tonight to be with Noah and Lily but she has been checking on your very often. She is such an amazing woman. I know you are so proud of her.

I almost forgot to let you know that Ms. Teresa sent us your "coming into our world" video today!!!! I wanted to share it with you and all of your blog followers! Click on the link below:

http://www.teresavickery.com/hogandominy.mov

You are a special baby.

It is late as I type this letter to you and I am not sure I know just what to say to you tonight. I have been praying so hard for you and I have also been busy thanking God for you and your friends. Hogan, you have some incredible friends that follow your blog and that have become my friend on facebook so that they can follow your story. God has gifted you with an amazing strength. It makes me feel good to hear the nurses talk about how impressed that they are with the strength that you have shown on your journey. Thanks for being so tough. Thank you for showing me how to love. Thanks for showing me how to show compassion. Thank you for showing me how to enjoy the simple things in life! The only thing you are looking for in life is a little oxygen to breathe and for someone to love on you. Thank you God for using Hogan to make me a better man. Hogan, thank you for being so easy to love.

I love you.